I really should be writing an essay right now comparing Helen from Martin McDonagh's The Cripple of Inishmaan, and Janice from Shanley's Italian-American Reconciliation, but I have too much on my mind, so I decided to write here.
Firstly, Fiddler is over. I cannot believe it. I hate when shows end - I always feel so glum for the first few days. This show was one of the best I've been in, and it makes me sad that it's over already. I don't know what I'm going to do now - probably sulk around, looking at pictures and watching the video. I just want to thank everyone who was involved with Fiddler, or who even came to see the show. It was an amazing experience and I'll never forget it.
Now I just feel like I have nothing to do with my life, but I'm sure it'll pass soon enough - just have to get back into the routine of having no show in my life at the moment (besides Anne).
What else? School ends in a week, and then I have four exams and I'm done. It's flown by really fast - it astounds me.
It seems like a lot of things are ending lately: shows, schools.....friendships.
I called my old friend Rhianna on Saturday because it was her 19th birthday, she didn't seem too thankful that I called. I'm sure she was just busy, but it just made me feel like a hunk of junk - like I don't have anyone from school to lean on anymore. Actually, the only person I can really, really lean on is Jared, who I'm so grateful for. I feel sorry for the poor guy though, he gets all my attitude and complaints. It seems like he doesn't mind though. He knows that all my school friends have gone their seperate ways.
As for theatre friends, well- being in musical theatre, we're all busy people, so I don't really feel like burdening them with my sorrows.
Plus... I'm not close to them like I was to my school friends, or to Jared. Sure, we're close....but.....I can't explain it....
I don't really talk about my personal, personal feelings to any of my theatre friends. I've always felt like an outcast at times compared to them. I see a bunch of my theatre friends who are so close and tell each other anything. The only person like that for me is Jared.
I know most of this probably doesn't make any sense at all, because I'm splurding out thoughts.
Another thought - CCO (Catholic Christian Outreach) has this thing called RISE UP every year, which is a conference they do around Canada. This year it is in Quebec City, and I soo very badly want to go, but I can't afford it. They suggested findraising, but I just haven't had the time, and the registration form is due this week. I know I'm going to regret not going - but I guess there's always next year.
Do you ever feel like crying but you just can't? I hate that. Like I said, I'm feeling this way because the show is over, and I'll be fine in a few days, it just stinks to feel this way.
I'm not looking for any sympathy, because I know these feelings will pass. Just needed to write out some thoughts...
C'est la vie.
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3 comments:
make sure to keep healthy... after a show, it seems a lot of people get sick.
It is always sad when a show ends and I can relate big time.
What does "C'est la vie" mean? (HAHA!) Don't be glum, there is always something to look forward to. I too should be writing an essay, go figure. Go to Quebec City, I'll pledge you! How much do you want - a million dollars? Take it take it!
xoxo
chunny bunny
(PS - this is so random)
ahhh the agony of show endings.. how I've come to loathe them this last year. It's because it's such a process I find - you are always discovering new things about your character and the show that continue to make it interesting. Plus you're a lot like me, so you probably never feel like you've conquered something, you've never arrived. I think thats a good thing - then you're always striving to be better. Not to mention the fact that you end up spending so much time with the same group of people and they become like your family, so when you stop seeing them, you feel like a dork calling them up every five seconds just to see what they're doing. That was what it was like last year for me after cinders... I was a freakin mess!
Good that you have Jared to lean on like that. We all need someone like that. plus you guys are uber cute together. Hey once we're all done school business, let's get together for a chat! ooh and see if you can come to my show this week at trinity! wed-sat!
Love you!
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